A person looks around at a home they can no longer manage and wonders, “Am I hoarding, or am I chronically disorganized?” What differences do you look for?
The difference between hoarding and chronic disorganization is a state of mind about how someone feels about their stuff. Chronic disorganization has a lived-in feel, and the piles are constantly turning. People are always thinking, "I have that thing here somewhere. Let me just go find it." They're constantly shifting things around, looking for what they need.
Nothing has a home because, honestly, "If I put it away, I'll never find it again." Everything is out all over the place. Nothing has a system because there's a fear that if something is put behind a closed door, they'll forget that it exists. So, the best solution feels like keeping it out where they can see it.
When someone is hoarding, they have the thing because they want to have the thing. They pile things up in abundance and may have no intention of finding them, using them, or getting rid of them. There's a lot of accumulation.
What does chronic disorganization actually mean? How is it different from a messy season or a house that simply got away from you?
Chronic disorganization is something that people often struggle with throughout their lives. I often have clients say, "I've read all of the organizing books available. Of course, everyone has a copy of Marie Kondo's The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. I've taken a bunch of classes, I've tried every hack on the internet, and I still can't even find my keys!"
They'll also say things like, "I've always been disorganized. My room as a kid was always a mess, and my mom..." Fill in the blank; their mom had either a positive or negative response!
Chronic disorganization comes with a persistent feeling of failing at something you're trying really hard to achieve, and yet it never seems to work. It feels, and often looks, like a bunch of Frankenstein systems all meshed together, without any one of them working really well.
How can ADHD and executive-function difficulties create clutter that looks like hoarding from the outside?
I think ADHD difficulties can look like hoarding because of the disarray and, often, the volume of stuff. Executive-function difficulties can lead to delayed decision-making because it all feels too overwhelming, and things just start to pile up.
I often say, "We're all one nervous breakdown away from becoming a hoarder!" In that sense, if we get sick, sad, or overwhelmed, any of our spaces can get really messy. The difference is often our ability to quickly catch up without feeling completely overwhelmed and exhausted by the process.
I often have people call me and say, "I'm hoarding over here!" Then I get there and realize they're actually chronically disorganized. In contrast, people with hoarding disorder often don't recognize or identify what they're experiencing as hoarding disorder.
In Cris's words
“Organizing is way deeper than I thought it would be.”
When someone has trouble letting go of things, what tells you whether this is an organizing problem or something that needs clinical help?
I think we all need clinical help! LOL! I'm not qualified to diagnose people, but I often know the difference when I walk in the door. Hoarding disorder has a permanent feel to it. There's often a big disconnect in the perception of the volume of items that some of us would consider useless or in abundance.
I experience a lot of hoarding disorder with reading materials, clothing, and technology. Those folks aren't realistic about their space or time limitations. They're almost unreasonable about what needs to happen to their space. It's often very dusty, maybe even moldy.
Chronic disorganization is a matter of not knowing what to do with it, not having good systems, and feeling overwhelmed. Once someone who is chronically disorganized gets some support, they often make incremental progress. It's like learning a foreign language; eventually, with time and practice, it starts making sense for them, and they start finding streamlined systems that work. My clients often have to learn one good system at a time to stay tidy.
At what point does clutter become a health or safety issue, even if hoarding disorder is not the explanation?
I think clutter becomes a health issue when people stop cleaning, taking the trash out, dusting, or vacuuming. Then it escalates with a lot of delayed maintenance on HVAC systems and smoke detectors that don't work. That's a pet peeve for me. Everyone should have smoke detectors installed with a working battery.
I also think that having windows, doors, or stairs blocked or cluttered is very dangerous. Of course, the older the person, the more dangerous it can be. Older adults who fracture their hips are also much less likely to ever be able to go back to their cluttered homes.
If someone feels ashamed and doesn’t want anyone inside their home, what’s a realistic first step?
I've never met anyone who opened the door and said, "Come on in and see all my clutter! I'm so proud of myself!" Everyone I've ever met has had shame and a lot of anxiety about inviting some stranger into their home to help them organize.
I can't speak for every organizer out there, but I can speak for my NAPO and ICD colleagues who've come together to learn how to help our clients live better lives and overcome the shame that comes with calling someone to help. Try to find someone who has some education in ADHD, hoarding, and chronic disorganization. These two organizations can help you start a search near you: the National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals and the Institute for Challenging Disorganization.
That's a legit feeling, and I hope that everyone who wants some help can find a compassionate person to help them with this process. It takes a lot of courage to invite someone in. I celebrate your courage!
When should someone call a professional organizer, and when should the organizer be working alongside a therapist or another specialist?
I think if you're looking around and feeling completely overwhelmed by your space, you should definitely call someone. I think it's always better when people are supported by a therapist or a psychiatrist. There's often a lot that comes up for people when we organize together, and organizing isn't therapy. It'll feel therapeutic, but you'd need someone to support you with all of the feelings that are unveiled under the piles: all of the shame, the disappointment, the unlived life of the ideal self, and often grief.
Organizing is way deeper than I thought it would be. I thought I was going to be putting pretty things into pretty bins and transforming people's spaces, and that's hardly what we do. A team is always better than just one person!
